Complimenting Forward

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I would like to invite you to do an exercise today I call 'complimenting forward´. Here is how it works:
  1. Notice compliments: pay specific attention to any compliment you get, no matter how small or implicit
  2. Accept compliments: accept compliments thankfully. Don’t be modest, don’t deny you did a good thing
  3. Compliment forward: for each compliment you receive today, compliment two other people yourself (on this same day)
  4. Pay attention to what happens… and if you like it, keep on doing it
Compliments are underrated
Compliments are possibly the most underrated social tool we have. All of us hunger for recognition and a compliment offers just this. If done right, a good compliment provides the kind of feedback that helps us become aware of just which of our behaviors are effective. On top of that a compliment shows there is somebody who who pays attention to you and cares for you. A good compliment can really make your day!
Yet most of us find it very hard to give and receive compliments. If we are complimented we often tend to deny that there was anything worth complimenting (“O, it’s nothing, anyone could have done this”). And when we see someone doing something exceptional we may feel the urge to compliment but too often we don’t (“What will the other person think of me when I do that?).
How to compliment?
First of all, learn to identify behaviors that are worth complimenting. These might be any behaviors you truly appreciate and any behaviors that signal progress or growth in the other person. Second, learn how to compliment. This can be learned easily with some practice. You can either compliment directly (“That was really well done!”) or indirectly (“How did you manage to do that?”).
Want to try it?
I have seen some really amazing effects of compliments. If you try complimenting forward, interesting things might happen. If they do and you want to let me know, please feel welcome to do so!

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