Complimenting Forward

By -
I would like to invite you to do an exercise today I call 'complimenting forward´. Here is how it works:
  1. Notice compliments: pay specific attention to any compliment you get, no matter how small or implicit
  2. Accept compliments: accept compliments thankfully. Don’t be modest, don’t deny you did a good thing
  3. Compliment forward: for each compliment you receive today, compliment two other people yourself (on this same day)
  4. Pay attention to what happens… and if you like it, keep on doing it
Compliments are underrated
Compliments are possibly the most underrated social tool we have. All of us hunger for recognition and a compliment offers just this. If done right, a good compliment provides the kind of feedback that helps us become aware of just which of our behaviors are effective. On top of that a compliment shows there is somebody who who pays attention to you and cares for you. A good compliment can really make your day!
Yet most of us find it very hard to give and receive compliments. If we are complimented we often tend to deny that there was anything worth complimenting (“O, it’s nothing, anyone could have done this”). And when we see someone doing something exceptional we may feel the urge to compliment but too often we don’t (“What will the other person think of me when I do that?).
How to compliment?
First of all, learn to identify behaviors that are worth complimenting. These might be any behaviors you truly appreciate and any behaviors that signal progress or growth in the other person. Second, learn how to compliment. This can be learned easily with some practice. You can either compliment directly (“That was really well done!”) or indirectly (“How did you manage to do that?”).
Want to try it?
I have seen some really amazing effects of compliments. If you try complimenting forward, interesting things might happen. If they do and you want to let me know, please feel welcome to do so!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feedback in Three Steps

By -
© 2003, Coert Visser As a manager you have just led a meeting. John brought forward a proposal to implement a Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system. He did this convincingly and enthusiastically but seemed to leave very little room for his colleagues Michael and Peter to respond. You want to talk to John about this...but how? Feedback is essential Giving and getting feedback is essential. The fact is, no matter how hard we try, we don’t always automatically perform excellent. We need information from others to know what is expected from us, how others perceive us, what we do well and what we should do better. Sometimes others have more expertise or skills, they look at your behavior from a different angle, and they may have access to different information. When feedback functions well in an organization, people are interested in signals about the effects of their behavior and they constructively correct each other. Fantastic! But now the less rosy daily practice.….. Feedback ca...
Read more

Esoteric Aspects of Edgar Cayce's Life

By -
Image
Gladys Davis, Hugh Lynn Cayce (right) and Harmon Hartzell Bro were among the members of this A Search for God study group meeting at A.R.E. Headquarters at Lake Holly in 1950.  This photo is from Edgar Cayce's Photographic Legacy (1978) compiled by David M. Leary. Some of Edgar Cayce's psychic (channeled) readings diagnosed and prescribed for people's physical ailments and disturbances.  These were described by Thomas Sugrue in There Is A River (1942) as presenting "cases, hundreds and hundreds of them, wherein the treatments have been faithfully followed, and the predicted results have been achieved." When information that was sought wasn't successfully forthcoming (such as locations for lost treasure or oil wells), Cayce and his associates were baffled.  These circumstances are chronicled in the book The Outer Limits of Edgar Cayce's Power (1971) by Edgar's sons Edgar Evans Cayce and Hugh Lynn Cayce.  One chapter, "Readings for...
Read more

Case Profile: Edgar Cayce

By -
Image
Edgar Cayce (1877-1945) became known as an American mystic and "psychic diagnostician" healer following hypnotic sessions where he would go into a trance and his body would be used as a channel.   The communicating Intelligence would speak in plurality, usually beginning a 'reading' with a statement such as "We have the body . . ." and finishing upon saying "We are through for the present."  I first learned about Cayce through reading Jess Stearn's biographies Edgar Cayce — The Sleeping Prophet (1967) and A Prophet in His Own Country — The Story of the Young Edgar Cayce (1974).  The first biography to be written about Cayce is There Is a River: The Story of Edgar Cayce (1943) by Thomas Sugrue, whose book heightened public understanding about Cayce during the final years of his life.  Sidney Kirkpatrick's Edgar Cayce: An American Prophet was published in 2000. Since 2005, I've occasionally studied portions of the extant 14,306 Cayce...
Read more